Both Sides Now

Yahoots. Yesterday was Autism Awareness Day and the one-year anniversary of this blog. The Autism Awareness v. Autism Acceptance battle played out in the minds of neurodiversity activists on Twitter as expected. Hundreds of polarized tweets. It’s not like we could have both, awareness and acceptance of course, that’s a gray area. We’re dealing with […]

Rust Never Sleeps

I’m watching True Detective again, and this minor scene reminded me how it used to be with my partner and me. Rust (Matthew McConaughey) is basically me against the neurodiversity counseling industry (played by Woody Harrelson). As I say, we’re getting passed this now. He’s learning to suspend judgment and I no longer feel put […]

Self-stigma? Leave it to the Autist

It rankles me, but I give in. Let the neurodiversity movement keep their identity first autism. While I’m at it, they can take my secondhand autism and I’ll go back to being a full-on allipstick. My Version of Backing Down Besides, I’ve decided the comorbidities that come with autism are what we talk about when […]

This fucking year

…the song is romantic with a desperate, pleading quality that makes you feel both leery of, and sorry for, the speaker. It starts off accusatory, leading you to believe that the speaker has been stood up: “When I was waiting in a bar, where were you? / When I was buying you a drink, where […]

Nose-diving on Reddit

The idea was to replace an open, above-ground ASD/NT group forum that a moderator impulsively killed two weeks ago. Sadly, when a Reddit sub goes away so do all its members and the connections being built between them, day by day. Ghosted, though they may have posted hundreds of times on the ASPIE/NT sub, their […]

Why build community on Reddit

I’m jazzed about a new venture that just fell into my lap. It appears I killed a worthwhile subreddit today, run by clowns. First I got banned then it went dark, I didn’t set out to do it, in fact, I would have saved it if I could but it was corrupt to the bone. […]

Help your Aspie get over some shit

Happy Halloween. No more horror stories about the ASD partner who settles into a well-worn rut, vegetating, going through the motions, flatlining. Perhaps all this (exhaustion?) comes from a need to eliminate distractions due to sensory overload. But if you don’t ask your partner if he has fireworks shooting off multiple tracks inside his head […]

Decisional speeds

Since we’ve been back from our break M and I are running into solutions faster than I can keep track, which should make for shorter posts, hooray. This is going to involve boundary-setting to relieve bickering over mundane day to day dumb stuff. I can’t find any research on how decision speeds impact relationships yet […]

Shear Barbarism

ARE YOU SASSING ME? The other day my man told me he’d appreciate it if I responded to his perseverating, irksome questions in a clear, plain, factual manner. Suddenly he wants the acoustic Dylan. We’re together five years I’m just now hearing this. Honey, I’ve been electric from day one. Don’t look back. But, he […]

Fitter, Slappier

Someone on farcebook just told me I had an axe to grind because I defy the typical fucked up way we’re told to interact with an Aspie. I am aware of no other counseling module that routinely shames women into codependency the way ASD/NT coaches do. We’re taught to manipulate our partners and attempt to […]


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