You might want to read this before adding me to your blogroll. The title is a phrase I used while exchanging cross words with a hodgepodge of biobabbling slacktivists as they tried to take down the website of a psychologist who posted commentary on her own page that clashed with their ideology. Which is precisely how noble, scholarly and serious minded ideological opponents have behaved throughout the course of time. NOT.
Soon I started seeing my own itty bitty idiom appearing on T-shirts and bumper stickers. Neurobullies merchandising my words doesn’t sit well with me. This is me taking back my brand, or another way of saying, I am actually not autistic (trick on you).
Mike, who plays the romantic lead in my life is the first person I’ve experienced who is on the spectrum. I’m Robin and go by flawedplan because the Bible told me so. I’m what we used to call “mentally interesting” and now call neurodivergent but according to my partner I scan as a neurotypical in relationship. Huh.
I don’t identify as a Cassandra (does anyone?), and if the unfortunate moniker commands no respect, whatever we call it is our lady business. When I’m talking I expect to be listened to, whatever words I choose, don’t you? There is no impetus for warding off our raggedy jaggedy maid of constant sorrow, to anyone who is capable of accommodating multiple perspectives, and no amount of pleading to someone who is not.
Dogma has no place in the bedroom, where people try to get closer to each other. Those of us who take this construct seriously probably don’t take it as seriously as the zealots who are out to crush it think we do. It’s a construct — you read it once or twice and it orients you; if you’ve ever experienced a few seconds of premenstrual clarity that completely blew your life up, it’s a bit like that.
Cassandra is a messenger, she brings the news.
You allow the visitor in, learn what she has to teach, recover, rebuild and then you send her down the road. This, in technical terms is known as a syndrome, it is not a permanent state. It is a life living in process (that word).
Whatever name Cassandra goes by — phenomenon, syndrome, complex, and whether the construct falls away or matures into a disorder that addresses the plight of the Aspie partner, at this blog she will command respect. All behavior is motivated. Everything human beings experience is legitimate. No authority on earth can refute this.
If I believe I had an overweening, cold, distant, and critical lover turning me into a brittle, pale and stricken captive why wouldn’t people take that seriously? Mine does.
But it’s not his job to fix it. Because there’s nothing wrong.
Believe it or not, I keep trying to tell him that.
Till next time!